This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Monica Buchanan will be awarding a $10 Amazon or B/N GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.
Monica Buchanan grew up in Jamaica. She revisits her lived experiences of abuse and neglect in early childhood and her younger adult years. Buchanan takes the reader on a palatable path that allows for reflection on one's own life. She writes about her survival journey, while looking through descriptive lens, she carefully details how exposure to early childhood abuse and neglect within her family helped form patterns, influenced choices, and shaped decisions in her adulthood.
By chronicling familial stories, the roles of parents, siblings, and community, she employs a story-telling and meaning-making approach, that is both painful and entertaining. Even though as a young child I was told I was the problem, I knew intuitively that I did not cause all my problems. I now know that what happened to me within the context of familial (and other) relationships had a name--emotional abuse and neglect.
Growing up I wished there were more people and resources that could help me make sense of my life as I struggled with low self-esteem, insecurities, felt lost, craved attention, and an overall sense of not belonging--I felt like an outsider and desperately wanted to be on the inside.
Buchanan reaffirms that: childhood experiences of abuse and neglect does not mean one has a commutable life sentence of pain and suffering. It does not matter where you are on your healing journey, you can set that stuff aside and reclaim your life. This book is for anyone who grew up in a toxic, abusive, and unhealthy home environment where they felt like they did not belong within the family unit. It is also a book about making changes, forgiveness, and letting go.
Enjoy an Excerpt
Numerous girls (and women) survivors historically have been mistreated, abused, neglected, ridiculed, shamed, blamed, and made to feel guilty about the treatment dished out to us. We believe this is our lot in life. Eventually we internalize such treatment, and as women we either repeat such internalized patterns with our children or repeat them with ourselves. I know this internalized process extremely well; I have experienced all the above. It is from this place of knowing that I write.
I often ask myself who would want to hear what I have to say. A small inner voice tells me that I must speak my truth, I must write. The prompting empowers me to harness my voice and use it. It says to me that my story might just be your story too. This is the story of our mothers and their mothers before them. Most importantly, it is our daughters’ story. Writing about mistreatment in childhood is all of our stories interwoven in an ugly, yet beautiful, telling of what we survived.
We learn in childhood to strangle our voices and embrace silence—but who can really silence us but ourselves? We learn to give our power away at a noticeably youthful age. For instance, as newborns when we cry and scream out to our parents or caregivers, they may respond with “Hush, hush. Don’t cry.” Why must we not cry when we are frightened of the big world outside and missing the safety and security of the womb? Maybe some of us knew as newborns the truth of the ugliness that awaited us. We probably had the insight that the world is a cold, harsh, dangerous place even at that tender age.
About the Author: MONICA BUCHANAN has a PhD in psychology, as well as a master's degree and a bachelor's degree in Women's Studies. Buchanan is semi-retired, after a long and rewarding career in counseling, psychotherapy, and coaching, she now follows her passion and live a purposeful lifestyle. She continues to be enthusiastic and committed to development of strength-based community resources for adults and youths from marginalized and under-served communities, thus she remains an active volunteer. She focuses on mindfulness and relaxation and loves to read, write, garden, and take long meditative walks.
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